What is Strength?

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like being emotionally strong is absolutely not possible, right? 

A little more than 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a neurological disease called Pseudotumor Cerebri. Pseudotumor Cerebri or also known as Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension is a neurological disease when a person’s body produces too much Cerebral spinal fluid which causes the fluid pressure in the skull to increase. Someone with this disease experiences severe migraines (daily), nausea, vomiting, tinnitus (ringing in the ears)  and pressure on the optic nerves which can lead to vision loss and or blindness.  This past June I was also diagnosed with Lupus (which we believe I have had for several years but just recently formally diagnosed). . Lupus is an autoimmune disease that causes the immune system to attack healthy joints, muscles, and tissue causing damage.  There are so many different symptoms with lupus but most common ones are butterfly rash, joint pain, hair loss, visual changes, etc. 

Since these 2 diagnosis I have been on the biggest and longest strength roller coaster. Some days I wake up with a great, conquer the world attitude. However, it doesn’t always stay that way during the day. Other days I wake up having a self pity party. Feeling so weak and depressed. Asking why me?  Why must u suffer everyday?   I have 2 beautiful children… Ages 3 and 5 and each day when I’m feeling like there is no strength insight these kids give me the strength I need to keep pushing. 

When my 5 year old asks me “mommy are you OK, I hope your not still sick” it rips me apart. I don’t want my kids to know I’m hurting or having a weak moment.  They are my motivation to beat these illnesses. 

What makes you reach deep down inside to pull that inner strength out when your feeling low and weak? When was your strongest moment? 

Always remember that a weak moment does not define who you are. You are human and humans cannot always keep everything on line. It’s the weak moments that make you stronger! 

Always refuse to sink

Xoxo

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