Out of Character

 

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Have you ever been so angry at someone that you feel you are about to explode from rage or anger? Honestly, I get like this quite often. More than I would like to admit actually.
When I was younger I used to hold in my anger. I never showed my anger to anyone. I guess that’s why I was picked on a lot in school. The shy girl with the lack of an attitude and lack of anger was an easy target. Then came middle school and high school. The rebel years. The years when I seemed to be angry all the time. I found myself so lost. Didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to become. Tried to be the leader of the “followers”, if you know what I mean.  Felt so alone in a world full of people. Took my anger out on anyone who crossed me. For no reason really. I just felt that since I had been bullied for so long that I could protect myself from further bullying if I showed that I wouldn’t take anyone elses crap. If that makes any sense. It seemed to work…

…Well until I realized that being angry all the time did nothing for me but give me an ugly forehead wrinkle haha. Being angry wasn’t me nor was it “for” me. I’m not sure what actually triggered me to wake up and realize that life is to damn short to be mad at nothing 24/7, but I’m glad I did.

Fast forward to present day. I’m a pretty laid back kind of girl. I don’t get angry easily or quickly. I allow things to fester on the inside before anger really comes out. However I pick my battles very wisely. Allow me to elaborate. Someone that was once close to me used to tell me to never allow someone else to bring me out of my character. Meaning no matter how much someone angers me, pokes and prods at me, never give them the satisfaction of seeing you break. Whether that be showing fear, anger, or anything other than the “you don’t phase me” reaction.

With that being said, over the years I’ve learned whats worth my anger or heartache and what isn’t. I do not come out of character for anyone that isn’t worth it. If that person doesn’t make a big impact on my life in a positive way then they aren’t worth it. So whats the final thought for this post?  Never, ever allow someone else the satisfaction of seeing you out of character. You are stronger than that. Pick your battles wisely. Stand up to your inner and outer bullies and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF AND BE THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE MEANT TO BE!!

XOXO
 

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